Bill Bumpus Somerville MA - An injury to one is an injury to all

In August a California court ordered Uber and Lyft to reclassify more than 100,000 drivers as regular employees. The two companies, which depend on a business model that defines drivers as independent contractors, got the decision lifted for at least a few months.

But in the meantime their threat to shut down operations in California—and thereby fire thousands of drivers while ending service to millions of customers—raises the question: What do we call this extraordinary corporate stratagem? A public relations gambit? A pressure tactic? Blackmail? A capital strike?

In August a California court ordered Uber and Lyft to reclassify more than 100,000 drivers as regular employees. The two companies, which depend on a business model that defines drivers as independent contractors, got the decision lifted for at least a few months.

But in the meantime their threat to shut down operations in California—and thereby fire thousands of drivers while ending service to millions of customers—raises the question: What do we call this extraordinary corporate stratagem? A public relations gambit? A pressure tactic? Blackmail? A capital strike?

The Department of Justice on Monday named Seattle, Portland, and New York “anarchy jurisdictions,” and President Trump announced he would withhold federal aid from those cities, though constitutional law experts say the order would not likely be upheld in court. What do you think?

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The Canadian television sitcom Schitt’s Creek swept the 72nd Primetime Emmy Awards, taking home nine prizes, including all seven major awards for which it was nominated, and setting a record for most Emmy wins for a comedy series in a single season. What do you think?

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LITTLEROCK, CA—Wondering if it should get the stabbing discomfort checked out, Earth reportedly expressed hope Tuesday that a weird burning sensation was nothing serious. “There’s this nagging feeling of burning that seems to be spreading around, and I’m really starting to worry that it’s indicative of a much bigger…

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ATLANTA—Outlining their priorities guiding the development and distribution of an immunizing agent against the deadly virus, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reportedly announced Tuesday that children will be the last to receive a Covid-19 vaccine because what are those little twerps going to do about…

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SAGINAW, MI—Insisting that no one was allowed to touch the small pile of foliage on the dining room table, local girlfriend Michelle Slagle, 27, was doing something with the leaves from outside, sources confirmed Tuesday. “It could be that these leaves are for a craft project or to make potpourri, but there’s really…

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Outside the gates of Brooklyn’s P.S. 139 hung a poster with a report card for the Department of Education. Teachers frustrated with the ever-evolving plan to reopen schools had issued the DOE the following grades:

Timely submission of directives? F
Using data to drive decisions? F
Keeping stakeholders prepared and informed? F
Wasting time, energy, resources, driving us crazy? A+.

Outside the gates of Brooklyn’s P.S. 139 hung a poster with a report card for the Department of Education. Teachers frustrated with the ever-evolving plan to reopen schools had issued the DOE the following grades:

Timely submission of directives? F
Using data to drive decisions? F
Keeping stakeholders prepared and informed? F
Wasting time, energy, resources, driving us crazy? A+.

BEIJING—In an effort to crack down on overly harsh dissent, President Xi Jinping jailed Chinese real estate tycoon Ren Zhiqiang Tuesday for failing to use the sandwich method of constructive criticism when condemning him. “He should have started with something nice, slipped in some feedback on my coronavirus response,…

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NEW YORK—As the Democratic presidential nominee ramped up his in-person efforts to get out the vote, members of the Joe Biden campaign reportedly went door-to-door Tuesday in the JPMorgan Chase headquarters. “Door-knocking is a core part of talking to supporters and getting our message out there, which is why we’re…

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BANDON, OR—Explaining that the visitor had appeared legitimate for the most part, area man Robert Moralis told reporters the guy who came to his house Tuesday and asked for his personal information definitely seemed like a census taker. “Anyone who wants that many details about that many areas of my life would, I…

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JASPER, IN—Stressing the firearm was for “emergencies only,” local father Kenny Webb reminded his son Nolan that he should never ever handle his gun unless he’s super bored, household sources confirmed Tuesday. “Let me be clear: This gun is not a toy, so you shouldn’t play with it unless you can’t think of anything…

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Part blizzard, part hurricane, part tornado—all destruction. We have the latest on this unprecedented tsunami-hailstorm combination and why many experts believe it could be caused by the villainous Professor Vile and his weather-destabilizing machine.

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Airlines in Japan, Brunei, Taiwan, and Australia have begun offering short flights that take off and land in the same location for people who miss flying, with many flights selling out as soon as they become available. What do you think?

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