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National Association Of Corpses Express Outrage At Still-Living Actors Getting Cadaver Roles On ‘CSI,’ ‘Law & Order’
NEW YORK—Calling the hiring practice “inexcusable” during a presentation at the organization’s annual retreat, the National Association of Corpses—a non-profit aimed at the promotion of cadavers and cadaver-related causes—expressed their outrage Tuesday at still-living actors being cast in the roles of dead bodies on…
Russian Olympic Program Denies Steroids Played Role In 8-Year-Old Gymnast Hurling Balance Beam Through Wall To Escape
MOSCOW—Issuing an adamant rejection of any wrongdoing in the wake of a four-year ban from global sports, top Russian sporting officials denied Monday that steroids had enabled 8-year-gymnast Svetlana Larionova to hurl a balance beam through a concrete wall and escape a state-run athletics facility. “Anna just happens…
Apologetic Justin Timberlake Presents Jessica Biel With Severed Hand Of Alisha Wainwright To Prove Loyalty
LOS ANGELES—Apologizing emphatically for any harm he might have caused through his past indiscretions, pop superstar Justin Timberlake reportedly presented Jessica Biel with the severed hand of Alisha Wainwright Monday to prove his undying loyalty. “Jessica, I bring you this hand as a humble offering to show you that…
Massive Pro-Democracy Protest Rocks Hong Kong
In the immediate display of pro-democracy sentiment, hundreds of thousands of pro-democracy protesters have taken to the streets in Hong Kong after recent electoral victories to demand greater civil right protections for citizens. What do you think?
Trump Offers Hunter Biden Job In Energy Department Based On Oil Industry Experience
WASHINGTON—Touting his impressive record of serving on the board of a notable natural gas company, President Donald Trump offered Hunter Biden a job in the U.S. Department of Energy Monday based on his experience in the oil industry. “Given his unparalleled background in this sector, I am pleased to have Hunter Biden…
So-Called Ronald Reagan Presidential Library Looks Nothing Like Him
SIMI VALLEY, CA—Declaring the whole visit “sort of a letdown,” Valley View Middle School student Lucas Hursch, 13, was disappointed to find Monday that the so-called Ronald Reagan Presidential Library bears no resemblance to the man who was the leader of the free world from 1980 to 1988. “You could maybe argue it has…
Best PS4 Games Out Right Now
Since its launch back in 2013, the PS4 has gone on to host a veritable treasure trove of classic titles, positioning itself as the reigning champ for hardcore and casual gamers alike. But where should a new owner start? After much debate, here is OGN’s definitive list of the best games out now for the PS4.
Learned Coworker Always Has Heard Good Things About Whatever Piece Of Media Being Discussed
DALLAS—Awestruck by a knowledge base spanning everything from 1960s art house films to the most recent episode of Veronica Mars, employees at SunTech Systems confirmed Monday that coworker Mason George, 31, possesses the preternatural ability to have heard good things about whatever pop culture phenomenon is being…
House Passes Bill To Limit Robocalls
In a near-unanimous display of bipartisanship, the House of Representatives voted 417-3 to pass a bill cracking down on robocalls by requiring phone providers to give the option to block such callers at no additional cost. What do you think?
Pete Buttigieg Blames Inability To Disclose Political Stances On NDA With Buttigieg Campaign
CONCORD, NH—Declaring that he simply has no choice in the matter, White House hopeful Pete Buttigieg told reporters Friday that some political positions he holds cannot be disclosed because of a nondisclosure agreement he signed with the Pete Buttigieg presidential campaign. “I would love to answer your questions, but…
File an Information Request with Every Grievance
Practically speaking, one of the most useful parts of U.S. labor law is the obligation of employers to furnish records and other information needed to investigate and process union grievances.
Although this duty is not explicit in the National Labor Relations Act, the U.S. Supreme Court has construed it from Section 8(d) of the Act, which requires employers and unions to “bargain collectively.”
File an Information Request with Every Grievance
Practically speaking, one of the most useful parts of U.S. labor law is the obligation of employers to furnish records and other information needed to investigate and process union grievances.
Although this duty is not explicit in the National Labor Relations Act, the U.S. Supreme Court has construed it from Section 8(d) of the Act, which requires employers and unions to “bargain collectively.”
Nearly 700,000 To Lose Food Stamps With USDA Work Requirement
The Trump administration announced plans to formalize work requirements for recipients of food stamps, a move that will cause hundreds of thousands of people to lose access to SNAP assistance by preventing states from exempting themselves from such demands. What do you think?
World Wildlife Fund Apologizes After Years Of Working With Well-Known Whale Pedophile
GLAND, SWITZERLAND—Confirming it had severed all ties to the disgraced 30-ton marine mammal, the World Wildlife Fund issued a formal apology Friday in which it acknowledged having worked with an adult whale known for sexually abusing juvenile members of its species. “Though we cannot change the past, we would like to…
10 Mistakes New Parents Always Make
When drawing a bath for a young child, many parents make it too hot. Be sure to test the temperature of the water by placing another family’s infant in it first.
Cabal Of Handsome Male Celebrities Agrees To Continue Withholding Baldness Cure From Public And Jude Law
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION—Upholding the promise they made so many years ago, a cabal of handsome male celebrities agreed Friday to continue withholding the cure to baldness from both the public and actor Jude Law. “To date, neither the public at large nor Law have demonstrated themselves as being worthy of the quantum…