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Kyrie Irving Debuts Signature Shoe Inspired By RFID Chips Government Secretly Implants In Anesthetized Patients

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 15:09

BEAVERTON, OR—Claiming he wanted a sneaker that reflected his deepest passions, NBA star Kyrie Irving held a press conference Friday to debut his new Nike Kyrie 7 signature shoe, modeled after the RFID chips the government implants in the brains of every citizen who gets anesthetized. “I really wanted a design that…


Categories: The Onion

Israeli Prime Minister Indicted

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 15:06

Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been charged with bribery, fraud, and breach of trust in connection with three separate cases, threatening his precarious efforts to retain power against political rival Benny Gantz. What do you think?


Categories: The Onion

Child Wondering Why Older Brother Only One To Get Funeral

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 14:11

AUGUSTA, ME—Claiming that he should get one if his sibling did, local child Noah Weiss reportedly wondered Friday why his older brother was the only one to get a funeral. “How come Brendan gets a funeral, but I don’t?” said Weiss, explaining that it wasn’t fair that his older brother got a cool casket that he could…


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Yes, Gandhi’s ‘Civilization VI’ Outfit Is Sexy, But It Would Be Seriously Impractical On A Real Battlefield

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 11:30

Over the years, the gaming community has been wracked with debates and controversies about the over-sexualization of gaming characters. Of course, many revel in the dubious tradition of parading out characters with outrageous body proportions in scantily clad outfits, dismissing it as nothing but a bit of diverting…


Categories: The Onion

‘I Could Spare Some Change,’ Says Man About To Become Buttigieg Campaign’s Top Black Donor

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 11:00

CEDAR RAPIDS, IA—Surpassing the contribution of an African American woman who accidentally dropped a quarter in front of the presidential candidate’s headquarters last summer, local man Leonard Thompson unknowingly became Pete Buttigieg’s top black donor Friday after he tossed a few coins into a campaign volunteer’s…


Categories: The Onion

Red for Ed: In the States Roundup

AFL-CIO Weblog - Fri, 2019-11-22 10:56
Red for Ed: In the States Roundup AFL-CIO

It's time once again to take a look at the ways working people are making progress in the states. Click on any of the links to follow the state federations on Twitter.

Alaska AFL-CIO:

0-3, @GovDunleavy.#akleg #akgov

Read more here —> https://t.co/4p4mZKBHaM pic.twitter.com/WuUDvVjr84

— Alaska AFL-CIO (@AKAFLCIO) November 8, 2019

Arizona AFL-CIO:

We’re spending Veteran’s Day on the #ASARCOStrikeLine @UNITEHERE11 @UFCW99 @USWLocal937 @ibtlu104 #IUOE428 pic.twitter.com/FNuTIoGC94

— Arizona AFL-CIO (@ArizonaAFLCIO) November 11, 2019

Arkansas AFL-CIO:

We love it when Union members run for public office! Brother Matthew Stallings is running for State House District 38. Check out his new… https://t.co/36BkVRXxRM

— Arkansas AFL-CIO (@ArkansasAFLCIO) November 7, 2019

California Labor Federation:

*NEW* Report from @UCBLaborCenter --> California’s Steps to Expand Health Coverage and Improve Affordability: Who Gains and Who Will Be Uninsured? https://t.co/8zW35WivMu

— California Labor Federation (@CaliforniaLabor) November 19, 2019

Connecticut AFL-CIO:

We were saddened to learn that Mel Olsson, former President of @UAW Local 571, passed away earlier this week. Even after he retired, he continued to fight every day for working people in Connecticut. You will be missed, brother. @UAWRegion9A https://t.co/f23kmZl1wN pic.twitter.com/jSnHdgstkg

— Connecticut AFL-CIO (@ConnAFLCIO) November 15, 2019

Florida AFL-CIO:

Last week, over a hundred new Union members were elected to public office. This website shows you what union members are currently serving and how you can get involved in helping elect more members of Organized Labor to represent working people.https://t.co/0p30RiAmbC

— Florida AFL-CIO (@FLAFLCIO) November 15, 2019

Georgia AFL-CIO:

Today we also met UAW retiree George, who’s 94 years old, who started working in 1947, when the plant first opened, and retired in 1987. #1u pic.twitter.com/NBSzBRRgM2

— AFL-CIO Georgia (@AFLCIOGeorgia) November 19, 2019

Idaho AFL-CIO:

I just added my name to stand with @The_AFM musicians! #1u #BandTogether Add your name and write one here: https://t.co/HhC6lOvenn

— Idaho State AFL-CIO (@IdahoAFLCIO) November 19, 2019

Indiana State AFL-CIO:

Thousands of teachers are at the Indiana Statehouse!

They’re joining together to demand the public schools our students deserve. #RedForEd pic.twitter.com/liCXdwxBb5

— Indiana AFL-CIO (@INAFLCIO) November 19, 2019

Iowa Federation of Labor:

Inside IBEW’s Efforts To Help Hotel Workers Unionize In Dubuque https://t.co/XUDGk4KavF pic.twitter.com/rRwerRICe2

— Iowa AFL-CIO (@IowaAFLCIO) November 19, 2019

Kentucky State AFL-CIO:

“Hoover emphasized a concern that several legislators of both parties have about the bill — that it will likely diminish the retirement... https://t.co/sGobvVaB40

— Kentucky AFL-CIO (@aflcioky) May 7, 2019

Maine AFL-CIO:

Congrats to the operating technicians at @WABI_TV5 on their new contract! https://t.co/QgGvGZfb6H #mepolitics

— Maine AFL-CIO (@MEAFLCIO) November 19, 2019

Metro Washington (D.C.) Council AFL-CIO:

‘MD/DC AFL-CIO president Donna Edwards: "We are at one moment in time"’ on #SoundCloud #np https://t.co/0auguUHwuM

— MetroDCLaborCouncil (@DCLabor) November 18, 2019

Minnesota AFL-CIO:

Hennepin County’s first labor-trafficking case ends in guilty plea https://t.co/O3NvJSPr9J Welcome news for workers. #1u

— Minnesota AFL-CIO (@MNAFLCIO) November 19, 2019

Missouri AFL-CIO:

A more cooperative relationship between workers and management would result in a more sustainable system for supporting the middle class. https://t.co/oR7dzver4x

— Missouri AFL-CIO (@MOAFLCIO) November 17, 2019

Montana AFL-CIO:

Mary Munger was a nurse by trade and an activist by calling. Her advocacy gave nurses in Montana the right to collectively bargain and improved working conditions for the profession statewide. She will be missed. https://t.co/fJ1naQiZBC

— Montana AFL-CIO (@MTaflcio) November 18, 2019

New Hampshire AFL-CIO:

From Pres. Glenn Brackett: Congratulations on a successful Election Day! video at https://t.co/CxERWrlKfN

— NewHampshire AFL-CIO (@NHAFLCIO) November 7, 2019

New Mexico Federation of Labor:

Wow! So surprising that fair wages don’t kill businesses!

Time for the excuses to stop, and #FightFor15 @INAFLCIO @AFLCIO https://t.co/J9PIA2M1qY

— NMFL (@NMFLaflcio) November 14, 2019

New York State AFL-CIO:

The #UnionStrong podcast Episode 23: The @wrkingTheater explores how plays about bus drivers and baristas, postal workers and police officers help amplify the voice of workers in NYC @IBEWLocal3 @DC37 @32BJ Episode 23: The Working Theater https://t.co/JefNpn3ik5

— NYSAFLCIO (@NYSAFLCIO) November 13, 2019

North Carolina State AFL-CIO:

The GOP’s latest gerrymander ought to be the last straw for NC https://t.co/oMIum4Q1S8 #ncpol via @ncpolicywatch #ncpol #fairmaps

— NC State AFL-CIO (@NCStateAFLCIO) November 19, 2019

North Dakota AFL-CIO:

#LegacyFund #UniversalSchoolLunch @NBCNightlyNews @LesterHoltNBC https://t.co/YF2NQ3HRh4

— North Dakota AFL-CIO (@NDAFLCIO) November 17, 2019


Take time to enjoy the huge win for working people! https://t.co/jlDLOUp5OS pic.twitter.com/6ONxuaahwU

— Ohio AFL-CIO (@ohioaflcio) November 18, 2019

Oklahoma State AFL-CIO:

Great turnout for the OK Building and Construction Trades Apprenticeship open house! pic.twitter.com/4T8Gv9gDWZ

— Oklahoma AFL-CIO (@OK_AFL_CIO) November 15, 2019

Oregon AFL-CIO:

Oregon AFL-CIO President Graham Trainor writes in the NW Labor Press about the importance of recognizing graduate employees’ work and why grads at universities around the state are fighting for a fair contract. #1u #UnionStrong https://t.co/GV0icFeaRB

— Oregon AFL-CIO (@OregonAFLCIO) November 19, 2019

Pennsylvania AFL-CIO:

Equal Pay is a central foundation of workers’ rights and we are proud to be joined by @RepSims and his legislation to support equal pay! pic.twitter.com/Ju8izeaHRD

— PA AFL-CIO (@PaAFL_CIO) November 19, 2019

Rhode Island AFL-CIO:

#1U #Apprenticeship #apprenticeships #apprentices #Labor https://t.co/m9P8Rw11sS

— Rhode Island AFL-CIO (@riaflcio) November 19, 2019

Texas AFL-CIO:

.@UAW sister Pauline sharing her story and how her union organized during the #UAWStrike in Dallas @AFLCIO @TexasAFLCIO #1u pic.twitter.com/qbkPMlC0Ez

— Texas AFL-CIO (@TexasAFLCIO) November 16, 2019

Virginia AFL-CIO:

Virginia Democrats could repeal right-to-work. It shows how America is changing. - The Washington Post https://t.co/EvdddLhHVN

— Virginia AFL-CIO (@Virginia_AFLCIO) November 19, 2019

Washington State Labor Council:

"(This) is an egregious attack on one state’s employment law and states’ rights generally." https://t.co/OO9CWftV50

— WA State AFL-CIO (@WAAFLCIO) November 11, 2019

West Virginia AFL-CIO:

“W/1 of the biggest organizing victories since WV became a RTW state, nurses are sending a resounding message to working people across WV that forming a Union is the best way to shift the balance of power away from corporations & toward the people.” #wvpol https://t.co/vyertUROO4

— West Virginia AFLCIO (@WestVirginiaAFL) November 14, 2019

Wisconsin State AFL-CIO:

What to know about the legal fight over who should be on Wisconsin's voter rolls, https://t.co/w2KlEGf7g6

— WI AFL-CIO (@wisaflcio) November 19, 2019 Kenneth Quinnell Fri, 11/22/2019 - 09:56

Lawsuit Claims Burger King Impossible Burgers Contaminated With Meat

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 10:30

A vegan sued Burger King in a suit alleging that the fast-food chain had contaminated its meatless “Impossible” Whoppers by cooking them on the same grills as its traditional meat burgers. What do you think?


Categories: The Onion

Veterinarian Wishes Owner Would Just Let Dog Answer One Goddamn Question

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 09:30

PHOENIX—Expressing frustration with the constant interruptions, veterinarian Dr. Kate Ludlow wished Friday that the overbearing owner of Bella the pug would let the dog answer one goddamn question. “Christ, I’m trying to get information from Bella about why she’s come in today and her owner keeps butting in before she…


Categories: The Onion

The Worst Snowstorms In U.S. History

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 09:00

As the nation heads into another winter season, the rise of extreme weather means people across the country will be watching out for snowstorms. The Onion takes a look at the worst snowstorms in U.S. history.


Categories: The Onion

Smiling, Knife-Wielding Marie Kondo Orders Followers To Leave Behind Cluttered Physical Forms

The Onion - Fri, 2019-11-22 08:00

LOS ANGELES—After years of building a massive and devoted following through her bestselling book and subsequent Netflix series, a smiling, knife-wielding Marie Kondo has ordered her fans to leave behind their cluttered physical forms, reports confirmed Friday. “My beloved friends, you have completed the tasks I have…


Categories: The Onion

Gary Jones Just Resigned as UAW President—Now Questions Arise about Acting President Rory Gamble

Steward's Corner - Thu, 2019-11-21 17:51
Gary Jones Just Resigned as UAW President—Now Questions Arise about Acting President Rory Gamble November 21, 2019 / Chris Brooks<? if(isset($entity->premium) and $entity->premium == 1) { echo "Print Only"; } ?>

As news broke yesterday that United Auto Workers President Gary Jones was resigning over allegations of corruption, questions arose whether Acting President Rory Gamble was also mired in the unsavory culture that has become a way of life in the upper reaches of the union.

Categories: Labor Notes

Gary Jones Just Resigned as UAW President—Now Questions Arise about Acting President Rory Gamble

Magazine Stories - Thu, 2019-11-21 17:51
Gary Jones Just Resigned as UAW President—Now Questions Arise about Acting President Rory Gamble November 21, 2019 / Chris Brooks<? if(isset($entity->premium) and $entity->premium == 1) { echo "Print Only"; } ?>

As news broke yesterday that United Auto Workers President Gary Jones was resigning over allegations of corruption, questions arose whether Acting President Rory Gamble was also mired in the unsavory culture that has become a way of life in the upper reaches of the union.

Categories: Labor Notes

Congress Approves $3 Billion In Military Aid For Netanyahu To Defend Self Against Israeli Justice System

The Onion - Thu, 2019-11-21 17:41

WASHINGTON—Justifying the expenditure as necessary to preserve the only bastion of democracy in the Middle East, both houses of Congress voted unanimously Thursday to extend $3 billion in emergency military aid to Benjamin Netanyahu to defend himself against the Israeli justice system. “Today, we act decisively in…


Categories: The Onion

Sondland Testifies He Pressured Ukraine Into Biden Investigation

The Onion - Thu, 2019-11-21 17:20

Affirming a central claim of the House Democrat impeachment effort, Republican megadonor and U.S. ambassador Gordon Sondland testified that he acted under President Trump’s direction and with White House official knowledge to pressure Ukraine into investigating his political rival. What do you think?


Categories: The Onion

Gabe Newell Reveals To ‘Half-Life’ Fans That They Are In Hell And He Is Their Devilish Master

The Onion - Thu, 2019-11-21 15:46

When we first heard Valve CEO Gabe Newell had an announcement about the Half-Life series planned for this week, we (and presumably every gamer with a pulse) were excited to finally see a continuation of this legendary series. So, it’s a huge disappointment to report that instead of sharing a release date for the…


Categories: The Onion

Only Person Who Ever Truly Saw World For What It Is Starts Antidepressant Medication

The Onion - Thu, 2019-11-21 15:17

DAYTON, OH—Voluntarily surrendering the remarkable talent that gave her profound insight into the true nature of existence, the only person with the ability to see the world for what it actually is has started taking antidepressants, sources confirmed Thursday. Like a divine seer who blinds herself rather than face…


Categories: The Onion
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